None of them realize that her THROAT SPRAY has been switched with ACME LIQUID BUTLERIZER! Ungrateful-a fools! I will-a sing whether they like it or not! FETCH-A MY THROAT SPRAY! REPLACE MINNIE WITH EMMY IN THE NEXT SHOW! It must be the ghost! Who else would demand that we replace Minnie with Emmy in the next show? These are all signed 'G.B.'! Who the hell is he?ĭon't be daft. SIMON, CIARÁN, PATRICK, and MINNIE compare NOTES they've all received. Just take me back above ground, okay? The methane is starting to affect my ability to emote. But let's see if I'll need to double-bag it. I really see you more as an increasingly unfriendly ghost. Right? We have so much in common! I mean, you wouldn't be here if Anne Hathaway had been free. (like the guy who sings 'Monster Mash' getting caught in a thresher) (like a blender that just became self-aware) Wait, now I recognize you! You were Dracula four years ago! I know this is how most Netflix dramas start, but I MUST know who sounds even less suited for his part than I do!ĮMMY follows GERARD into a CANAL filled with CANDLES, CANDLES, and additional CANDLES. Step through this mirror and I'll show you a good time. Maybe when you wash that axle grease out of your hair. Oh, Emmy, how average you were! Who has been training you? You're probably wondering how I ended up as a goddamn snapshot. He finds her later in her DRESSING ROOM, where she is gazing at a PHOTO of her father, RAMIN KARIMLOO. Her TOLERABLY GOOD PERFORMANCE blows the ASSES off the AUDIENCE, including her childhood friend PATRICK WILSON. Well, Ghost, you get-a your wish! Just-a TRY to find a prima donna as gloriously over-the-top as La Minnie! NEVER! No, it's the ghost who lives in this opera house and really has it out for Minnie for some reason. MINNIE by way of AN ACTUAL OPERA SINGER begins rehearsing, until a BACKDROP falls on her.ĭear me, what a clumsy fly crew you have! She's the most entertaining thing in this movie.

Good heavens, I'm feeling buyer's remorse already. You therrrre-a! Fetch-a my throat spray! Get-a me a less ridicolo hat! And make-a me some spicy-a meatballs! New opera house owners SIMON CALLOW and CIARÁN HINDS meet ballet instructor MIRANDA RICHARDSON and lead soprano MINNIE DRIVER, who is dressed as a JEWEL-ENCRUSTED COCKATOO.

Phantom of the opera 2004 3rd play